To everyone else mom was the real life Clair Huxtable. Until the facade fell apart.
(Source: acegmusic)
I used to like who I was, but somewhere along the way I lost myself.. And I’ve been trying to find me ever since. Increasingly I feel so awkward and out of place with the people who are supposed to be my family. Is it their fault? Or is it my fault? Is the reason why I’m not enjoying myself like the other girls are enjoying themselves because I’m not putting myself out there enough? Not trying hard enough? Lately I find myself comparing my behavior to the rest of my sisters, to gauge whether I should turn it up or tone it down. I’ve been self-conscious around them, like I don’t fit in. Not even with my own kids. How can I not fit into something I helped to build? Have I spent so much time making sure what we were building looked good to the outside that I neglected to build in a space for myself? And all of a sudden I find myself back where I started in the beginning. From the outside it looks like I have everything.. But in reality, I’m only interesting on paper.
(via sofxckinluxe)
